Was this a sequel to Pleasantville? Reject reel from from all the kids who didn’t get into Smallville? A less flaming Glee? No, just new Riverdale.
Sick, a homecoming episode. No show can open without soulful black singing. So Archie’s mom is Molly Ringwald? Considering she lives in Chicago, becoming fat probably helped her deal with the local population.
Betty’s mom tries to send the girls to snoop, while her sister does some snooping of her own. Archie is quite the horn dog. His slick moves on Veronica make me concerned he’s a sex addict. Everybody seems to think FP is shady, and Archie joins on the fun. If there is one thing this white boy doesn’t respect it’s personal space, and people’s property. Tense conversations are held over food, and by the time the party starts nobody is complaining.
Polly and her baby take a rufie to the dome, and miss out on the proceedings. The show must go on; soon everybody interesting is back together again. Homecoming brings back Archie’s swoon-worthy vocals, but even he can’t stop a police raid. Honestly the sexual tension in that gym was tame after last weeks debauchery.
Jugheads dad falls victim to the criminal justice system and is arrested. His white trash status makes him the perfect scapegoat, and it looks like everybody is buying it. Who knew? Looks like To Catch A Murder had it right. Funny thing is, a Buzzfeed personality quiz told me I was totally a FP. Something about substance abuse, and being an absentee father.
Riverdale as a post-millenial expression of the current zeitgeist is beyond me to analyze. The depiction of black women in this show beyond irks me, but they aren’t important. Who the hell killed Jason Blossom? At this point my money is on Cheryl; their relationship is way too Game of Thrones not to be sinister. Plus it’s way to early for the real killer to be revealed. For now we just have to wait until Polly gives birth, and the baby turns out to be black.
Nigga rating: 4 black power fists out of 5. Oppressing but entertaining as hell